We all in this together.

December is always been marked as the busiest month in my calendar.
Simply because of MITRA Dhamma Youth Camp and this year is the 16th year we've organized the camp.

I like how this camp have made a tremendous change to my life as well as the person I've became today. And I definitely love the person I've became and that's the reason why since I joined the camp for the very first year, I keep coming back despite my busy schedule.

Not to tell, it's been such a great pleasure working with a group of dedicated, committed and talented people. It sounded fun indeed but at the back of the fun we face the challenge no one can ever understand. Despite having the obstacles that constantly put our patience on test, we pull through it together. At times, situation might be gone out of hand, our temper flare like no other, our heartbeat keep racing, yet we still manage to stand strong and give our fullest support for one another in hope that all our effort worthwhile when people who participate this camp actually do learn something instead of bringing back a blank page.

Last but not least, I would like to thank the board of committee for making this year's camp another memorable one.

Sadhu! Sadhu! Sadhu!

About me

It takes forever to actually know yourself. No doubt. People tends to spend the entire life trying to search their identity and sometimes the outcome turns out to be a surprise. As for me, what I recently discovered about myself is that I'm an adapter. I can say I'm a person who adapt very much on almost every type of environment and people. In another word, I go along with the flow when in a group of people. The downside is that I tend to grow into a person's liking over the time. It's like I'm cloning the him or her in myself. Not that I am not being myself, it's just the effort I prefer to spare on people to have further understanding. Even worse, people might thought I actually imitate them. Besides, its either I grow into them or I outgrow them on certain things. Like it or not, it's still me.

Good day. 

Random artwork

I've been turning what comes across my mind into vector graphic these days. Here are the recent two. Visual speaks it all.

Life goes on

The thought of living a quality life just strikes on me lately. Of living an unusual life in an ordinary person. What makes it extraordinary is probably the effort and productivity. You may just wake up in the morning and feeling all grumpy, extremely slack on doing anything, wondering aimlessly. Or waking up with a big smile on the face, with daily routine start running in the head, not forgetting to compartmentalize the emotion.

Not to deny that we constantly strive towards what we believe is good in life, and fantasize the topnotch life which undoubtedly revolve with cash for sure. Often neglect the finest view around us. You may say all of that always comes with a condition: money. How easily it rules us without us realizing. How it becomes issues of our daily lives. To think of it with depth, it is quite contradicting actually with the fact that some said money cannot buy happiness. Well, if there's no money, you can't satisfy your tummy either. Irony indeed.

Back to what I've started, quality life is simply to what extend we willing to give and take.

Good day :D

Screw it!

3:39 a.m.

It seems that I have developed such late-night-post habit.

Or my words just decided to flow better throughout in the middle of the night.

I miss the old times of us. 

Seriously, those moments we make fun of each other. 

I miss how you will stand beside me surprisingly when I watch movie.

I have no idea since when we have barrier between us. The invisible wall just intensively built over the night. Or maybe I shouldn't have let it out at all. It just ruined our friendship indirectly. Look what it has gotten myself into.
I sincerely do not want to lose you as my friend. 

Well well, not to mention, I have the tendency to dream of you when I sleep. 

I wake up feeling even weirder. 

It's not what I can control but I will really love to try on lucid dream* if it keeps happening. 

*A lucid dream is any dream in which one is aware that one is dreaming

A lucid dream can begin in one of two ways. A dream-initiated lucid dream starts as just a normal dream, and the dreamer eventually concludes it is a dream. A wake-initiated lucid dream occurs when the dreamer goes from a normal waking state directly into a dream state, with no apparent lapse in consciousness. The wake-initiated lucid dream "occurs when the sleeper enters REM sleep with unbroken self-awareness directly from the waking state"

Every time I duel with feeling that I cannot resolve, I will always vividly remind myself that I must stand way even stronger. 

Hey, that sounds boring right to stuck with "Oh, I must stand strong, bla bla bla."

Now, where is the creative juice? 

"You stupid little girl!" "How even simple thing you can't handle?" "Screw the goddamn feeling!" "This is just way too much!" "Why are you so concern?" "Why can't you just ditch all the crap pieces of thoughts and start living?" "How stupid you are!" " 大笨蛋!" "Bakka!"

This is what I call the alter ego of mine. 

To be continue.

PS. Just bear with me of the blank white layout. I have it all blank on my wallpaper and phone screen as well. 
I simply don't know what to do with us anymore.