Whenever my sister starts to tell this particular story, let alone to my friends or her friends, it always make me think how far I've gone through and make a tremendous change to myself.
Well, this matter happened 5 years ago. And suprisingly it is always fresh in her mind. It goes like this, there's this Dhamma Youth Camp I've joined ever since I was Form 1 as a participant. The second year, I immediately applied to become the committee. Apart from preparing for the year end camp, we have retreat camp for just the committees every year. The first year I joined the retreat camp, one of the activity actually required us to stand in front of all and do public speaking for 5 minutes. That eventually freaked me out because I've never ever do that before back then. I would rather prefer to sit in a corner and do my own stuff. In other words, I'm practically anti-social. So, when it's my turn, I just remain sitting and next moment I know was I broke down. Yes, that's very me back then when I couldn't handle a situation or felt tense, tears would start wetting my face in mere seconds. Seriously, it's really embarrassing. At the end, I managed to talk bit by bit and finished the task in less than 5 minutes.
This story is often told before saying that how much I've actually changed in this 6 years after I joined the camp.
I would say it's the situation which trigger my changes, whereby when you've no choice but to held your head and tell yourself 'Yes, this is it. Just do it'
that's also why I join the committee. It's totally not because of fun but to learn to be better. I'm trained indirectly from a person who don't even dare to stand facing the crowd to a person who can speak spontaneously to the public now. I always wander how the 6 years have changed me out of nowhere. But frankly, I'm quite proud of the evolution. And self-realization and self-improvement as well as self-confidence definitely play the role in life.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Endless thinking
A few thoughts that running in my mind right now. And they sort of bothering me a little
#1
My academic performance isn't on the satisfactory level and doesn't meet my expectation yet. That is why I'm currently keeping up my hardwork and coping with tension and pressure as well as putting the extra effort into the studies.
#2
I've no idea how to constantly keep up my self-confidence as I have a very low one. It's essential though so that I can perform my task better but I'm always faking it than having the true confident in myself.
#3
I have an unhealthy way of taking my meals in terms of the timing especially during school time. Skipping meal is often what I do whenever I'm too busy with my workload or school activities. I guess that explain why I'm feeling so exhausted and sleepy all the time.
#4
I'm wandering why am I doing in Science stream while I'm more towards the Arts? I know this can't be changed right now and I just have to bear with it.
#5
My perfectionist behaviour always take me a longer time to achieve assigned task. I tend to spend longer time just to have all the details perfectly done. It's even worse when I intend to re do the whole thing just because it's not perfect. Is it a bad thing?
Positive attitude and stay focusing is all I need right now. Hmmm...
Gotta get things organised rather than having those unnecessary worries.
Gambateh, Shin L!
#1
My academic performance isn't on the satisfactory level and doesn't meet my expectation yet. That is why I'm currently keeping up my hardwork and coping with tension and pressure as well as putting the extra effort into the studies.
#2
I've no idea how to constantly keep up my self-confidence as I have a very low one. It's essential though so that I can perform my task better but I'm always faking it than having the true confident in myself.
#3
I have an unhealthy way of taking my meals in terms of the timing especially during school time. Skipping meal is often what I do whenever I'm too busy with my workload or school activities. I guess that explain why I'm feeling so exhausted and sleepy all the time.
#4
I'm wandering why am I doing in Science stream while I'm more towards the Arts? I know this can't be changed right now and I just have to bear with it.
#5
My perfectionist behaviour always take me a longer time to achieve assigned task. I tend to spend longer time just to have all the details perfectly done. It's even worse when I intend to re do the whole thing just because it's not perfect. Is it a bad thing?
Positive attitude and stay focusing is all I need right now. Hmmm...
Gotta get things organised rather than having those unnecessary worries.
Gambateh, Shin L!
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Story of us
I spent the Sunday morning watching ''Ice Kacang Puppy Love" (初恋红豆冰) featuring Ah Niu and Lee Sin-Jie. Well, I would say it's a nice movie with simple storyline. I like how the director use old settings to film the scene which dated back probably 1970s or 80s. It is nostalgic with kids playing with 'guli' and fighting fish, writting letter to make confessions and how they grow up together.
Well, the movie sort of bring back the memory I have with him. He is my neighbour who lives just two houses away. We came to know each other since we're very young, about 7 or 8 years old, but he is older than me a year. I still remember how his mum always liked to compared his height with mine and start teasing him that he will be shorter than me if he didn't want to eat vegetables.
We spent most of our childhood playing badminton and cycling. Whenever there's a school holidays, he'll be my badminton coach training me to play better with two other neighbours. When we're bored, we like to go cycling in the neighbourhood. From the small bicycle till the mountain bike, it seems like growing with us. One of my vivid memory was the bike racing. We used to race and compete to see who reach the end point first.
There was once I cycled too fast and when I'm about to turn into the alley, I fell into the drain together with my bike. The next moment I knew was he was helping me to clean my wound on my knee.
He always called me 'Ah Ling... Ah Ling...' till one day he went like 'What's your name exactly? Is it Wang Xing Ling? Then you definitely know how to dance 'Ai Ni'. I rolled my eyes ignored him.
Just when mobile phone became a norm, we sometimes chatted over the phone. One fine day, I received a confession text from him. But I replied 'Crazy ar you!' Since then we seldom talk nor meet up.
As time went by, all the memories were laid behind and forgotten while we moved on. Occasionally, we will nod and smile if I pass by his house.
Well, the movie sort of bring back the memory I have with him. He is my neighbour who lives just two houses away. We came to know each other since we're very young, about 7 or 8 years old, but he is older than me a year. I still remember how his mum always liked to compared his height with mine and start teasing him that he will be shorter than me if he didn't want to eat vegetables.
We spent most of our childhood playing badminton and cycling. Whenever there's a school holidays, he'll be my badminton coach training me to play better with two other neighbours. When we're bored, we like to go cycling in the neighbourhood. From the small bicycle till the mountain bike, it seems like growing with us. One of my vivid memory was the bike racing. We used to race and compete to see who reach the end point first.
There was once I cycled too fast and when I'm about to turn into the alley, I fell into the drain together with my bike. The next moment I knew was he was helping me to clean my wound on my knee.
He always called me 'Ah Ling... Ah Ling...' till one day he went like 'What's your name exactly? Is it Wang Xing Ling? Then you definitely know how to dance 'Ai Ni'. I rolled my eyes ignored him.
Just when mobile phone became a norm, we sometimes chatted over the phone. One fine day, I received a confession text from him. But I replied 'Crazy ar you!' Since then we seldom talk nor meet up.
As time went by, all the memories were laid behind and forgotten while we moved on. Occasionally, we will nod and smile if I pass by his house.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Life for now
Being a Pre-university (formerly known as Form 6) student is definitely not easy.
With the STPM itself claimed that its the second toughest examination, fullest commitment and effort is a must in order to pass with flying colours. Well, here is my standing ground right now. Nothing can change that. And yes it is extraordinary challenging especially I'm based in Science stream, which deals with Chemistry, Biology, Mathematics T, etc.
Everyday besides 7am to 2pm of schooling and co-curriculum activities after school, there are tuition classes and also extra classes by school teachers to attend. At night, tons of homeworks and revisions are waiting for me. Thats pretty much sum up my daily schedule. The entire purpose is to be able to get myself a place in University.
Yeah. That's my life for now. It's not dull yet I would say it's part of the growing up process :)
With the STPM itself claimed that its the second toughest examination, fullest commitment and effort is a must in order to pass with flying colours. Well, here is my standing ground right now. Nothing can change that. And yes it is extraordinary challenging especially I'm based in Science stream, which deals with Chemistry, Biology, Mathematics T, etc.
Everyday besides 7am to 2pm of schooling and co-curriculum activities after school, there are tuition classes and also extra classes by school teachers to attend. At night, tons of homeworks and revisions are waiting for me. Thats pretty much sum up my daily schedule. The entire purpose is to be able to get myself a place in University.
Yeah. That's my life for now. It's not dull yet I would say it's part of the growing up process :)
Monday, April 4, 2011
Bloging my way
It has been a very long time since my very last post which is "Under Construction"
Fellow readers, I'm back once again :) My apology to have this blog ignored for so long. Now if you notice all my previous blog posts have been wiped off. I intend to start all over again although the deleted blog posts bring so much memories for me. Well, what trigger me to blog after taking long break is my passion for bloging haven't fade yet after so long.
So here I am to continue bloging about my daily thoughts and life or even secrets that I've never told before.
Stay tuned and enjoy reading :)
Fellow readers, I'm back once again :) My apology to have this blog ignored for so long. Now if you notice all my previous blog posts have been wiped off. I intend to start all over again although the deleted blog posts bring so much memories for me. Well, what trigger me to blog after taking long break is my passion for bloging haven't fade yet after so long.
So here I am to continue bloging about my daily thoughts and life or even secrets that I've never told before.
Stay tuned and enjoy reading :)
