Whenever my sister starts to tell this particular story, let alone to my friends or her friends, it always make me think how far I've gone through and make a tremendous change to myself.
Well, this matter happened 5 years ago. And suprisingly it is always fresh in her mind. It goes like this, there's this Dhamma Youth Camp I've joined ever since I was Form 1 as a participant. The second year, I immediately applied to become the committee. Apart from preparing for the year end camp, we have retreat camp for just the committees every year. The first year I joined the retreat camp, one of the activity actually required us to stand in front of all and do public speaking for 5 minutes. That eventually freaked me out because I've never ever do that before back then. I would rather prefer to sit in a corner and do my own stuff. In other words, I'm practically anti-social. So, when it's my turn, I just remain sitting and next moment I know was I broke down. Yes, that's very me back then when I couldn't handle a situation or felt tense, tears would start wetting my face in mere seconds. Seriously, it's really embarrassing. At the end, I managed to talk bit by bit and finished the task in less than 5 minutes.
This story is often told before saying that how much I've actually changed in this 6 years after I joined the camp.
I would say it's the situation which trigger my changes, whereby when you've no choice but to held your head and tell yourself 'Yes, this is it. Just do it'
that's also why I join the committee. It's totally not because of fun but to learn to be better. I'm trained indirectly from a person who don't even dare to stand facing the crowd to a person who can speak spontaneously to the public now. I always wander how the 6 years have changed me out of nowhere. But frankly, I'm quite proud of the evolution. And self-realization and self-improvement as well as self-confidence definitely play the role in life.
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